Overcoming the guilt of 'incompetence' to win a prestigious European scholarship

 Overcoming the guilt of 'incompetence' to win a prestigious European scholarship

Having thought "too difficult, I'm not good" when reading about Erasmus Mundus, Hai Chau never thought of winning this full scholarship two years later.

Among the hundreds of people applying to study Development Economics under the Erasmus Mundus scholarship program of the European Union in 2021, Hoang Phuong Hai Chau, 23, is one of about 20 students awarded a full scholarship. part 45,000 euros (more than 1.2 billion) for two years of master's study in France, Czech Republic and Italy.

If two years ago he mentioned applying for Erasmus Mundus, Europe's most prestigious scholarship, Chau would definitely answer "no". "Scholarships are only for excellent people, and I always feel like there's nothing too special. When I received the announcement of the admission, I thought this was really like a dream," Chau said.

Living in Hanoi, being a French class student at High School for Foreign Languages, University of Foreign Languages, Hanoi National University, Chau also "likes to study abroad" like his friends. However, when you gradually complete international certificates such as SAT, IELTS to prepare your application, the female student still has nothing, struggling not knowing where to start.

Parents who are officials, Chau understands that his family cannot pay the entire cost of studying abroad, and must seek scholarships in countries with moderate living standards, not too far from Vietnam. When winning a scholarship to the University of Tsukuba, Japan, Chau did not think much of it, but was excited about this study opportunity.

When really studying abroad, female students always think that they are not as good as their friends. This mentality appeared when Chau was still in high school. Poor in natural subjects, female students are often called by the teacher in the middle of the class and asked "did you understand the lesson". "I always think I'm inferior, needing special attention than everyone else. That's also the reason why I'm afraid of Math, thinking I'll never learn this subject," Chau said.

Hoang Phuong Hai Chau, a former high school student specializing in foreign languages, now lives and studies in Japan. Photo: Character provided

Hoang Phuong Hai Chau, a former high school student specializing in foreign languages, now lives and studies in Japan. Photo: Character provided

Psychological barriers cause the female student to skip Erasmus Mundus twice. In 2018, Chau read a sister's sharing about the process of winning this scholarship. After nearly an hour of pondering, she felt "it's so hard to pass", then boldly gave up. A year later, Chau again came across a book that gathered the experiences of the Vietnamese international student community who had successfully conquered Erasmus Mundus. Although he had read the book a few times, Chau's decision was no different from the last time because he thought "it can't be me, I'm not good enough".

In 2019, Chau participated in many community activities such as a social entrepreneurship consulting project, a science summer school, and worked as an intern at the National Tourism Advisory Council with the support of the European Union. When she met many talented, even outstanding people, she looked at herself and found that she still lacked many things. At this point, Chau asked himself "Is it possible to be afraid and fail all my life?", and then decided to turn over the articles about Erasmus Mundus, spending the whole year 2020 to prepare the conquest profile.

The first step Chau did was not to write an essay, participate in social activities or do research, but to lock Facebook. Originally a socialite, Chau used to share his views and personal experiences on Facebook. But when she had time to look back, she realized that her inner self was not stable enough, or was disturbed by information and opinions on social networks. Therefore, in order to focus as much as possible on the goal of winning a scholarship and to really understand herself, Chau decided to suspend all social media activities and limit communication with others.

During more than a year of not using Facebook, she spends time reading, exercising and self-studying for 8-9 hours a day. "Never before have I felt such inner happiness," Chau confided. In her free time, she often goes to the riverbank, sitting alone, thinking about the activities she has done, and putting together what kind of person she is to develop ideas for the main essay.